Conspiracy? Really?

It’s amazing what happens when you say the word “Conspiracy.”

Wait!

Don’t run away. I’m not going there.

If you’re like most people, I needed those last two statements. When most people hear the word conspiracy they smile politely while trying to find any excuse to leave.  They’ll tell you they have to call their proctologist if it means they can get away from you sooner.  Try it and see.  The next time someone drops by your desk to keep you from working, start talking about any crazy conspiracy and watch them flee.  In fact, they’ll probably avoid you in the future too, crossing the street, or even ducking in to visit Stinky Sam, the office B.O. machine.  They’ll do almost anything to avoid the mindless dribble of conspiracies.

There’s a good reason for this behavior.  When you say “conspiracy” people automatically think you’re like Jerry Fletcher (brilliantly played by Mel Gibson in the 1997 movie “Conspiracy Theory”) and carry a copy of “Catcher in the Rye” with you at all times. People picture conspiracies as elaborate plots hatched in some back room of the CIA by the puppets of the world’s ultra-elite.  From the JFK assassination to government mind control, from a hollow earth inhabited by reptilian humanoids to alien plots of earthly conquest, the conspiracy nuts can really get on your nerves.  As someone who grew up hearing about plots of world domination, I can’t blame people for running the other way.

To conspire, as defined by dictionary.com, is: “to agree together, especially secretly, to do something wrong, evil, or illegal.”

Under that definition we have conspiracies all around us.

Don’t believe me?  How about the recent New Orleans Saints scandal?  Coaches agreed to work together to continue their practice of paying players to injure opponents.  How about grade school kids agreeing to help each other cheat on a test?  I’m sure most people don’t find either of those particularly surprising. We are surrounded by small conspiracies every day.

So here’s what’s bothering me: We support conspiracies. Take the Saints scandal. Many retired players were less concerned about the conspiracy than they were that someone had “snitched.”  Some kids may know about the cheating at school but they certainly won’t tell a teacher about it.  Why?  Because, our society hates a snitch more than it hates a cheater, a thief or a thug.

It’s no wonder people with a little imagination (and perhaps a few loose screws) make up the most outlandish conspiracy theories when they find something odd.  They’ve seen too many little plots to not imagine them at a bigger level. Soon what was “something odd” gets blown out of proportion until it is a massive psychotic conspiracy with aliens, covert operatives, and earthquake machines.  At that point we can't hear the “something odd” over the noise of the conspiracy theory and start spending time with Stinky Sam.

The point of Avarice’s Hoard, the first book in my Dragon Conspiracy Trilogy, is not to spark another ridiculous conspiracy theory (it’s called a fantasy book for a reason), it is to entertain young adults while introducing them to some of the odd things about our monetary system … You just left to call your proctologist didn’t you?